a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(Source: d4nky, via nerdycommunity)
(Source: catbushandludicrous, via ilovebritishtv)
(Source: periodandbonerstories, via nerdycommunity)
MEANWHILE IN AUSTRALIA
BOBBLE-HEADED BIRDS
RABBITS MATING WITH RATS
TINY HERBIVOROUS BEARS
PLUSH TOYS MAGICALLY COME TO LIFE
LIZARDS-
WHAT THE FUCK
WALKING FEATHER DUSTERS
THE FUCK IS THIS IDEK BUT IT DESERVES A HUG
THE MOST FABULOUS BIRDS SINCE FLAMINGOS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING IT’S LIKE A DOG BRED WITH A MEERKAT
WELL IT’S PRETTY CUTE I G- JESUSFUCK
AND MORE LIZARDS
FUCK MAN EVERYWHERE HAS LIZARDS WHAT’S THE BIG D- WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
AND WHATEVER THIS THING IS WILL FUCK UP A HONEY BADGER
WHAT YOU THINK CUZ IT’S LIKE 80% DESERT HERE WE DON’T GOT PENGUINS FUCK YOU WE GOT PENGUINS IN SWEATERS
HEY I THINK YOU SAW THIS ONE IN A MUSEUM ONCE
ALSO HEY ENJOY OUR BEAUTIFUL BEACHES ALSO THIS FUCKER
AND THIS GUY
AND THIS GUY WANTS TO KILL YOU TOO
AND HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THIS THING
JESUS CHRIST THEY COME IN POCKET VERSIONS
BACK TO THINGS THAT WANT YOU DEAD
WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU.
SO YEAH, COME VISIT AUSTRALIA.
WE’RE ALL FUCKING WAITING WITH OUR WEIRD SHIT.
P.S.
This is the best post on tumblr.
(Source: fairy-wren, via suchaquestionableplace)
What gay men give to the world. A-yup.
On the second one.
There’s this one gay club I go to that actually has a problem of straight guys going there to dance with girls. I guess these guys don’t understand that girls can also be gay, because they assume that any girls at the club are there with their gay guy friends.
So one night I was out on the dance floor, and I see this guy. He’s like over six-foot, at least, all beefed-up, muscle shirt, looks kindof like a douchebag. And he’s just circling the dance floor, in one continuous loop, looking at the crowd like a predator, and it’s creeping me the fuck out.
It’s creeping me out enough that I don’t immediately realize what’s going on nearby. Some girl has attracted one of the Assholes, who has proceeded to begin grinding on her. She’s pushing him away, telling him to get lost. He’s pulling that whole, “come on, don’t be a bitch” spiel, and generally just not getting the message.
BAM. Suddenly, the prowling guy swoops in, like some sort of Gay Avenger. He shoves himself between the girl and the Asshole, grabs the Asshole by the hips, and starts dirty dancing him like a God-damned fuck machine. Asshole completely flips his shit, like how DARE another man try to dance with him at a GAY BAR???, starts spitting curses, and tears ass off the dance floor and out onto the sidewalk.
The Gay Avenger turns back to the girl, inclines his head in an, “are you okay?” sort of gesture. She nods, and he returns to his previous position of circling the dance floor, looking for his next target.
Told this story to some guys upstairs. Apparently Gay Avenger is a regular there.
gay avenger.
(Source: wicc4n, via suchaquestionableplace)
No bull shit post man






















